Finding Fun

I don’t think that many people know how to have fun anymore – and we really don’t know how to create it for ourselves.

My daughter Mary and I were chatting about this on our way home from an errand this morning, stemming from a comment she had about society requiring monetization of every waking hour. She’s been struggling with the intersection of being a writer and being her neurodiverse authentic self – and what that looks like as a career prospect. Will anyone want to pay for her work? Will she be a “successful” writer? Will she be “forced” to change her style and interests to fit with society’s expectations? This young woman is a deep thinker and an old soul, and I am blessed to be her mom.

These are all important questions, and I didn’t have good answers for her. But what I do know is that, at least for now, she shouldn’t be focusing on those questions. She’s 16 and doesn’t need to be paid for her writing. She should be having fun with it! She should be making beautiful mistakes. She should, as my favorite author Neil Gaiman says, “Make Good Art.”

And of course, that idea led to the thought that’s been bouncing around in my brain for some time, which is that so many people don’t know how to do that – we don’t know how to make glorious mistakes – we don’t know how to make good art. We’re afraid or we’re busy or we’re perfectionists or we’re embarrassed (I know whereof I speak here, y’all.).

I feel like everyone has an art form they can get behind or want to learn more about – playing an instrument, singing, cooking, drawing, writing, acting, interpretive dance, insert your interest here. But how many of us are doing it? And how many of us are worried about what other people will think while we’re doing it?

Or maybe you’re a sports or nature-loving person? Skiing, kayaking, hiking, camping, basketball, or generally exploring – there’s literally an endlessly interesting world around us, just waiting for a new set of eyes. But are we worried about the eyes looking at us and judging when we do them?

I say fuck all of that.

So how do we discover what we find fun? Do we think about the things we did or the interests we had as a child? Did we see a performance or view a piece of art that we thought was cool and it sparked an interest? Did we hear a story of a far away place and feel a connection?

I wrote about fun in this blog a few months ago (clearly it’s been on my brain), and my girl, Esme, mentioned that she has created fun for her kids for the last 13 years but isn’t sure how to do that for herself. I think that a lot of us are in this same dilemma.

I’m proposing a brainstorming night about how to create fun for ourselves – a “funstorming” party! I’ll find a date and an activity for us to do, along with supplying food and drink – you bring your interests and thoughts and creativity. More information to come, but who’s in??